Nagpakasal kay Nabuntis: Why I Didn’t Tell The World I Was Getting Married

So yes, the word is out. I and my boyfriend of three years, Mac, have officially tied the knot in a church wedding last April 8, 2018.  A lot of people were shocked; ngano daw gidali-dali ang kasal. Basi daw buntis ko maong gitago-tago ang wedding para dili mabal-an sa mga tawo.

Really?!

Here’s the thing: in the earliest months of our relationship, Mac has been vocal about wanting to get married. He didn’t know me quite well yet but he was firm on marrying me. Char. Taas kaayo akong buhok. But every time he’d bring the topic up, I’d only giggle (pina-pabebe girl) and tell him to plan a proposal where he’d surprise me with an engagement ring while kneeling in front of me. Hahaha.

And so, unexpectedly, two years and five months into the relationship, on the afternoon of August 8, 2017, he did propose to me. It was the funniest moment; it’s not something a girly-girl would  appreciate but I swear I wouldn’t have it any other way.

So Mac accompanied me to Ayala NorthPoint in Bacolod City where I had to go and finish some business. After I was done, I called him up to meet him. He seemed uncomfortable. Did he want to go to the wash room? Was he hungry? Trust me, he looked constipated but I still haven’t figured out that he has planned something.

He suggested we try the massage chairs in Ayala and told me to go first (because he planned to “go back to the car to get money and surprise me with a proposal when he comes back”) but I insisted I go with him to the parking lot since my feet were aching from wearing my high heels.

His first plan failed because we went together to the massage chair area. While waiting for the attendant to prepare our spots, Mac shyly said, “Pakasal na ta, gurl. to which I blurted, “Okaaaaaaaaay.” I was so used of him telling me na magpakasal na mi so I didn’t think he was attempting to propose. Hahahaha.

The chairs were ready to I made myself comfortable, feeling the machine’s strokes on my hardened back. Again, Mac said, “Pakasal na ta, gurl.”Just when I was about to tell him again that he needs to buy me an engagement ring, I saw a velvety ring box clasped between his hands.

That was when I laughed. I laughed so hard because he proposed in the most unlikely place and in the most unflattering position (imagine us being in massage chairs!). He then took out the ring and placed it on my ring finger while I couldn’t help but laugh so hard. We couldn’t even stand because the chairs had us locked with massaging leg cuffs. The only witness we had was the attendant–who willingly took our photo–and the CCTV stationed above us. And no, I won’t post the photo here kay dili ko gwapa didto ug wala koy poise kay again, we were trapped in massage chairs.

Just like that, we were engaged! But we chose not to announce it to the world. We only told a few friends and some family members. As early as September, Mac and I already started planning but it was only in December that we started sending out Save-the-Dates to people dearest to us, who were requested to keep the information in private.

However, in March, the news leaked and a lot of people were starting to message me if I am getting married. These are the most common messages sent to me on social media:

• Why are you getting married so soon?
• Are you pregnant?
• Did he propose to you?
• Why didn’t we know about this? 
• You didn’t post anything on Facebook about your engagement nor did you post anything about your boyfriend.

All the messages flooding my inbox were deafening. I only chose to answer a few and ignored the rest. First off, it was a conscious decision agreed by Mac and I to keep our engagement and our wedding plans to ourselves. We didn’t want to jinx our wedding so we thought it was best not to share it over social media.

Why are you getting married so soon? 

Just because you just learned about something doesn’t mean that it was done in haste. Just because last March lang ka nakabalo doesn’t mean na gidali-dali among kasal. Again, he proposed in 2017 and we decided to wed eight months after said engagement.

Are you pregnant?

No, I am not. Tambok lang jud ko lately nya naay foldable bilbil. Dili diay pwede? 

You didn’t post anything on Facebook about your engagement nor did you post anything about your boyfriend.

Because I’m a grown-up and there’s no need for validation. Aaaaaaand should I be obliged? You know what they say? People who do not post much about their relationships on Facebook are happy and secure. 🙂 I guess that pretty much sums up why you don’t see our faces plastered all over your News Feed every day.

So there, Mac and I didn’t get married because I was pregnant. Pwede raman guro mi traditional noh na magpakasal without a baby in the belly. Whatever happened to the world?

Good vibes all the way!